


twenty-seven

by mourningafter (orphan_account)



Category: Smosh
Genre: Drabble, Letter, M/M, damien haas - Freeform, heck, i wrote this for jenna, shaymien - Freeform, shayne topp - Freeform, smosh - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 11:09:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mourningafter
Summary: dear shayne,and all it reads are everything damien loves.





	twenty-seven

**Author's Note:**

> jenna helped me come up with this. this is just a short drabble of an idea i had that i could not fully write. enjoy!
> 
> title from 27 by machine gun kelly.

_september 14th, 2018_

dear shayne,

hi. this must be a huge, ~~awkward~~ weird surprise; receiving a letter from an unknown source and someone you haven’t talked to in years. i apologize profusely for writing you instead of, i don’t know, finding your email or phone number instead. this felt real and emotional, so i chose this instead.

i haven’t seen you in, what, seven years? that’s crazy to think about. you were a huge part of my life back then. legit the only person i really cared about for a long time.

remembering our times always gets me in my feelings. like the time when we went to your apartment after filming and you tripped over your rug and fell on your face. sure, i was laughing in the moment, but that scared me. i was scared you were super hurt. that smile on your face though, your laugh after you sat up, that healed me a little bit. you always reassured me without realizing it.

i’ve seen you all over social media. you’re huge. you’re an actor for a tv show and a youtube channel, one that’s super well known. i’ve heard you’re still in college and you’re getting through. you look good, too. you cut your hair a little bit and your eyes are much more full of life. that’s good to see. i would rather you were full of life than full of regrets of past mistakes.

sometimes i wonder what it would be like if we made it. if i help on tighter to your hand and refused to let you slip from my grasp. i regret our breakup in every second of every day. it’s letting someone that you truly loved go.

this isn’t about the fame. it isn’t about how popular you’ve gotten or any of the money you’ve obtained. it’s about the way you made me feel seven years ago. the way you made me feel so loved and special, like i was the only one you would ever care about. that’s what gets to me sometimes.

there will be days where all i can think about is my past mistakes. how i broke up with you because i felt like you deserved way better. but, dammit, i wish i never let you leave. i remember crying that night and giving up.

we had to hang out on set. we seemed fine, but i felt like you hated my presence. you laughed at my jokes but they were forced. your eyes glittered but only because the light hit them. yet i still wanted to just lean into you and kiss you. make everything melt away. i wanted to be your boyfriend again.

everything felt right with you. it’s been seven years and i can never get that feeling back. i don’t know if you have somebody — and maybe i don’t want to know. i just want you to remember what i remember.

that day when we sat in my room, on top of my bed. your head was in my lap and i just played with your hair. we had some music playing and i can vividly remember falling more in love with you. you looked so comfortable and relaxed. you were at peace.

don’t forget the days we had on set. you laughing and us playing around. you always had some sort of smile on your face. faking it or not, you had everyone in a good mood. you were a good anchor in the storm.

and here we are. you’re turning twenty-seven and i’m not there to see it. i can’t be there to wish you a good day or kiss your cheek like i used to. they say time heals all wounds. yet mine are still open and deeply scarred.

stay safe on this beautiful day of yours. live your life to the fullest, just like you would tell me you would. i am proud of you.

sincerely, someone who misses you dearly,

damien haas.


End file.
